God wants to redeem you, not exchange you. Inside your soul there is a battle between a flourishing self - the person you were created to be - and the languishing self. This message series is all about that battle as it moves from deep inside you to a world waiting for God's redemption.
DEEPENING MY RELATIONSHIPS
“In the church, we have a sin problem. The problem is not just that we sin - everyone has that problem. Our problem is that we can’t talk about it. Our problem is that we pretend we don’t have a problem.” - John Ortberg
It’s okay not to be okay.
“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.” James 5:13
If you want to deepen your relationship with God and people, one of the best ways to do that is to pray together.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James 5:16
- Mutual confession
- Mutual prayer
“Do you want to get well?” John 5:6
- Evaluate your SPIRITUAL condition.
- Enlist a prayer PARTNER.
- Experience the power of AUTHENTIC community.
The Me I Want to Be
Message #4 - “Deepening My Relationships”
James 5:13-16
Hi, my name is John; how are you today?
Some of you know I grew up in the Christian church.
I really didn’t have a choice; my Dad was a pastor, and so, I was in church out of the WOMB, and I reckon, I’ll be in church until the TOMB.
But back in the day, you would wear your “Sunday best” to church.
Remember that?
Here’s a picture of me as a young boy...when I actually had hair. [Ha!]
I remember those clip-on ties I used to wear.
But today, I thought for old times sake, I’d dust off my suit and a tie and I’d wear it for worship.
I don’t clean up TOO bad, do I?
At least I look the part…if nothing else. [Ha!]
But you know [series image], too often we can LOOK the part, but actually be FALLING apart.
We can look really good on the outside, but if the truth were known, we’re a mess on the inside.
We can do a good job of covering up what’s underneath the surface because there are some things I really don’t want you to see.
Why is it so hard to let people see who we really are?
For me, I’m kind of a private person anyway.
I really don’t like dragging people into my problems.
I figure, it’s my problem and I just need to deal with it myself.
It’s not easy to admit weakness or to ask for help.
Plus, there’s this “reputation” we need to keep up - this me that I feel like I need to be - and if I’m not that, then well, I might disappoint you or not be the person you thought I was.
As a pastor, this can be a little tricky.
If we share anything too serious, it could cost us our job.
But if we stay on the surface and share only “safe” things, people have a hard time relating and think we’re inauthentic.
A few years back, a guy by the name of Frank Warren had an idea.
He began handing out postcards to strangers and leaving them in public places - asking people to write down a secret they had never told anyone and mail it to him, anonymously.
Well, the response was overwhelming.
Frank began posting the cards on his website, PostSecret [book cover], and eventually it became a series of books as well.
To this day, nearly 20 years later, Frank receives postcards with postmarks from all over the world.
Here’s a tweet from a couple weeks ago:
Please don’t raise your hand, but anyone else feeling the same way? [Ha!]
Or, how about this one?
Whoa.
If you could send an anonymous postcard, what secret would you tell?
Maybe an aspirational dream you’ve always had, but have never shared?
Or, perhaps an ongoing struggle you can’t seem to overcome?
In his book, The Me I Want to Be [book cover w/ quotes], John Ortberg writes:
“In the church, we have a sin problem.
The problem is not just that we sin - everyone has that problem. Our problem is that we can’t talk about it. Our problem is that we pretend we don’t have a problem.”
Ortberg asks: “Why would anyone go to church to try to convince the people there that they don’t need a church?”
But that’s what we do a lot of times, isn’t it?
It’s like the person who goes to a counselor and tries to convince the counselor that they don’t need counseling?
What’s the point of that?
I don’t know what it is, but as a church veteran, I think it’s as if we believe we shouldn’t have any struggles or problems.
Jesus Christ is in our life, and so, everything’s just wonderful, right?
I mean…
No, I’ve got to pretend everything is okay when it’s really not okay.
Can I just say something today?
[In a whisper] It’s okay not to be okay.
Now, obviously, we don’t want to stay that way; we don’t want that to become an excuse.
But I think collectively as a church we need to take a deep breath and admit, it’s okay not to be okay.
In fact, let’s take a deep breath together right now on the count of 3.
Are you ready?
1, 2, 3 … [Deep breath]
It’s okay not to be okay.
You see, there’s a better way to live than going through life trying to convince everyone that you’re okay when you’re not really okay.
I mean, let’s be honest, everyone knows you’re NOT okay, right?
But seriously …
I’ve been here at OCC for almost 15 years and you know I’m not okay.
It’s not a big secret.
I DEFINITELY know you’re not okay. [Ha!]
Turn to the person next to you right now and say, “I’m not okay.”
“I’m not okay.”
Confession is good for the soul, right?
You see, church should look more like an AA meeting, but we’ve turned it into a theatrical production where we put on the mask [put mask on stick over face] because we don’t want people to see who we really are.
But do you know what the Bible calls folks who do this [with mask over face]?
Hypocrites.
Have you ever heard someone say, “The church is full of hypocrites!”
Well, it’s true.
We all have a certain level of hypocrisy - some worse than others.
But Jesus reserved his strongest rebuke for religious hypocrites.
People who put on a show at church and appeared “holier than thou” [stand up], but at home and at work they were a completely different person.
On the inside, underneath the surface, they were not okay.
[Take off suit coat; reveal shirt underneath that’s torn and dirty.]
You see, until you and I admit that we’re not okay and that we need God and other people in our life, we’ll never be the me God created us to be.
EXPLANATION
We see this principle and truth many times in the Bible.
Today, I want to look at a passage in the book of James, chapter 5.
Go ahead and turn there with me if you would.
If you do not own a Bible, we have FREE copies at the Next Step counter in the back of this room; be sure to grab one before you leave today.
Or, if you’re joining us online, leave us a comment and we’ll mail you a Bible this week if you don’t have one.
You can also download a digital version of the Bible by using the YouVersion Bible App on your smartphone or tablet.
The book of James was written by James, the brother of Jesus.
In the book, there are 54 imperative commands in 108 verses.
James was a man biased toward ACTION.
There are certain things God wants us to do in order to live out our faith and to become the me he wants us to be.
And we find a few of those commands in chapter 5.
Let’s start at verse 13: “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.”
So, 3 questions, and notice the 2 words “among you” in verses 13 and 14.
James is asking these questions to the church; the believing community.
And the assumption is, the answers to these questions are, “Yes!”
That would not only be true in the church then, but that would also be true in the church today - like right here at OCC, right?
There are some here today who are in trouble.
You’re going through some kind of adversity.
There are external pressures and stresses that are weighing you down.
And if that’s you, what should you do?
You should pray.
Now, what we might WANT to do is grumble or complain, right?
But James says that we should pray and take our troubles to God.
AND it’s likely that James was not thinking primarily of private, personal prayers here, but of prayers within the believing community.
It’s not just praying individually whenever you are in trouble, but it’s bringing your troubles to your small group or class and praying TOGETHER.
“You know, things are not okay; I’m not okay. Let’s pray.”
If you want to deepen your relationship with God and people, one of the best ways to do that is to pray together.
But not only pray, “sing songs of praise” together as well.
Just like there are people who are in trouble, we have people here today who are genuinely happy.
[Sing…] “If you’re happy and you know it, shout, ‘Amen!’”
AMEN!
Come on, that was pretty weak; let’s try that again.
[Sing…] “If you’re happy and you know it, shout, ‘Amen!’”
AMEN!
Yes!
That’s what we’ve come together to do this morning - to sing praises to God, to celebrate his goodness.
And we do that even when we’re not happy, but especially when we are.
And then, if you’re sick, “call the elders of the church.”
In the text, it appears that the person who is sick is deathly sick, probably on their deathbed.
They’re at a point where they literally cannot pray themselves, and so, they need the elders, who represent the church, to come and pray on their behalf.
Some of you here in-person or perhaps especially those of you who are joining us online, you are struggling with sickness.
Maybe you’ve been diagnosed with some kind of terminal illness.
What should you do?
Call the elders of the church.
We would love to come and pray over you and anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord - that God would raise you up and bring healing.
But you know, in order for any of this to happen, we have to be honest and vulnerable about how we’re doing - with ourselves, with others, and ultimately with God.
I want to ask you today, “How are you doing, REALLY?”
We ask that question a lot as we pass by each other on Sunday morning.
“Hey, how are you doing?”
“Fine. Doing good.”
And then we go on to the next person.
But if the truth were known, we have people here and watching online who appear to be doing fine, but underneath the surface they’re struggling.
And here’s the kicker: NO ONE knows about it!
Friends, this is not the me God wants you to be.
No, the me he wants you to be is the person who is living in community, the church community, and is able to share, “You know, I’m in trouble. I’m stressed. I’m not sick physically, but man spiritually I feel dead. I need someone to come alongside me to encourage me and pray for me.”
But many choose to pose and pretend like everything’s okay, and they miss the me God wants them to be.
It’s okay not to be okay.
James continues in verse 16: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”
Now, there are sins that can lead to sickness, but don’t misinterpret this passage to say that if someone gets sick it must be connected to some sin that they’ve committed.
This came up one day with Jesus.
His very own disciples came up to him and asked about a man who was blind: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9:2)
And Jesus said, “Neither...but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3)
And friends, I believe the same is true for us!
God wants to take your sickness, your disability, your struggle, and yes, your victories too - whatever it is - and display his work in you.
But 2 things needs to happen, and these are imperative commands:
That’s how God brings healing.
When we take off the mask and we get real with one another.
In the New Testament, starting with the book of Matthew and going all the way through the book of Revelation, there’s a total of 59 “one another” commands.
I have the list right here [hold up].
That’s the most popular one; it’s repeated over 10 times.
But then there’s…
That was a cultural thing; we don’t have to do that one, right?
And on and on it goes, and then, we come to James 5:16.
59 total.
I would say having “one another” is really important, wouldn’t you?
Being a part of a church family where you can apply these “one another” commands is really important.
In fact, I would say you cannot be the me you want be and the person God created you to be without putting these into practice.
This is how we become spiritually mature and healthy.
When we confess our sins to each other and pray for each other, we experience healing, James says.
Ortberg writes: “When someone knows the embarrassing, humiliating truth about me and still accepts me, I come alive.”
Some of you know what he’s talking about.
He continues: “To be fully known and fully loved is the most healing gift one human being can give another.”
Wow, I so much want that for you and for us at OCC.
Now, does this mean you have to stand in front of the church and confess all of your faults and failures to everyone?
No, that really wouldn’t be helpful.
But you do need someone or a small group of someone’s where you can be you - no posing, no pretending - just you, warts and all.
Back in my early-to-mid 20’s, I struggled with something that was THE most intense spiritual battle I’ve ever had.
And for years, I’m sorry to say, I tried to defeat it alone.
But it didn’t work; I only became more enslaved.
It wasn’t until I decided to bring my secret sin out of the darkness and into the light that I began to experience healing and victory.
I got real and confessed it to a Christian brother, and once I did that, it was like this huge weight of guilt, shame, and darkness was lifted.
Prior to World War II in Nazi Germany, Pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer conducted an underground seminary for the training of young pastors, where he shared a common life with about 25 students.
His experience produced a now famous spiritual classic, Life Together [book cover], in which he documents the biblical insights gained from that experience.
In the final chapter of the book entitled, “Communion and Confession,” he gives some reasons for the practice of mutual confession.
Primary among them is the isolation that sin brings.
Bonhoeffer writes: “Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him.”
But confession to a fellow brother or sister destroys this deadly autonomy. It pulls down the barrier of hypocrisy and allows the free flow of God’s Spirit and grace.
It’s okay not to be okay.
Hi, my name is John; how are you today?
APPLICATION
I’m reminded of the question that Jesus asked a man who had been disabled for 38 years - it’s found in the book of John, chapter 5.
Jesus asked him, “Do you want to get well?” (v. 6)
Kind of sounds insulting, doesn’t it?
Here was a man who had suffered for 38 years!
“What do you mean, Jesus, do I want to get well? Of course!”
And so, he was lying by a pool that was said to have healing powers.
Every so often, it was believed, an angel would come and stir the waters. The first person to get into the pool after the angel did that, would be cured of whatever disease they had - that was the hope, anyway.
The problem was, this man couldn’t get into the water fast enough; there was always someone who got into the pool first.
He must have felt hopeless; 38 years is a long time!
But then he met Jesus and Jesus did for him IN AN INSTANT what this pool, and other things he must have tried, hadn’t done for 38 years.
“Do you want to get well?”
Maybe you’ve tried a lot of different things over the years to overcome a sin, a struggle, or a sickness and nothing has worked.
Maybe that’s why you’re here today - you’ve tried everything else, maybe church and God will do the trick.
If that’s you, I’m so glad you’re here.
You’re on the right track.
Wherever you are, let me encourage and challenge you to take some next steps today.
Band Comes out Here
First...
How are you doing, REALLY?
Be completely honest.
Are you in trouble?
Happy?
Sick...physically or spiritually?
Remember, it’s okay not to be okay - my name is John. [Ha!]
Next…
Invite someone into your life who will regularly ask, “How can I pray for you?”
And let them know; set aside times when you pray together.
And then, finally…
Who are you doing life with?
When something goes wrong, do you have at least one person you can easily talk to about it?
Is there someone who could accurately name your greatest fears, temptations, and sin struggles?
Do you have a friend that you can trust and confide in - at least one person who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly about you?
“Do you want to get well?”
I hope and pray you do.
The Me I Want to Be [series image] is not about you; it’s about God.
It’s about allowing him to shape you into the person he created you to be.
You are his work of art; his masterpiece.
And there are some “good works” he has for you to do.
He wants to renew your mind.
He wants to empower you to defeat the sin that can so easily trip us up.
He wants to bring healing to your brokenness.
But you can’t do it alone.
And so, will you come to him today?
Whether it’s the first time or the thousandth time, he longs for you to be the me he created you to be.
Let’s pray to that end now.