The book of Proverbs has been called a 'Manual for Living.' The wise words contained within this book discuss the human condition as practically today as they did 2700 years ago. Humankind has always seen itself clearer through the lens of narrative storytelling, and no group of creative storytellers accomplishes this today better than the team at Disney/Pixar. We are going to spend 7 weeks examining God's 'Manual for Living' and discovering how those truths are illustrated in some of the most beloved animated films of this generation.
BRAVE: MENDING THE BOND
Proverbs is jam-packed with much-needed wisdom for living.
What are you building your life on?
Instead of relying on our own wisdom, we need to turn to the wisdom in God’s word.
“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” Proverbs 17:1
“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9
Forgiveness is a virtue of the BRAVE.
Today, on Mother’s Day, we begin a brand new series that will go through Father’s Day.
And this is going to be a FUN series for the entire family.
I mean, who doesn’t like Pixar movies, right?
But even more significant than that, we’re going to camp out in a super practical book of the Bible - the book of Proverbs.
If you take your Bible [demonstrate] and open it right down the middle, you’ll probably land in the book of Psalms.
If you turn to the right, the very next book is the book of Proverbs.
And Proverbs is jam-packed with much-needed wisdom for living.
In fact, Proverbs has been called God’s “Manual for Living.”
And what’s timely on this Mother’s Day and with our Parent Promise is much of Proverbs is like a mother and father speaking to their children.
Proverbs 1:8 says: “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”
Proverbs not only provides wisdom that oftentimes comes from our parents, but it’s ultimately wisdom that comes from God himself.
In the book of Proverbs we’re faced with a choice: wisdom or foolishness?
Scholars Gordon Fee and Douglas Stuart write: “The book of Proverbs fits into the biblical story by giving practical instruction to the young (and all others listening in [like us]) in order to help them follow in the ways of the Lord and have a beneficial, fruitful life on earth.”
Do you want to have a fruitful and productive life that honors God?
Hopefully you do, and that means the book of Proverbs is for you!
You see, there are 2 paths you and I can take in life.
And every day we have a choice of what path we’ll take.
Jesus said: “...everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a [what?] wise man who built his house on the rock…” (Matthew 7:24)
“But [then he says] everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a [what?] foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:26-27)
And so the question is: What are you building your life on?
The solid rock of God’s word or the shifting sand of something else?
In this series, we want to build our lives on the wisdom of the word of God as found in Proverbs.
EXPLANATION
So, let’s turn in the Bible to the book of Proverbs, chapter 17.
If you do not own a Bible, we have FREE copies at the Next Step counter in the back of this room; be sure to grab one before you leave today.
Or, if you’re joining us online, leave us a comment and we’ll mail you a Bible this week.
You can also download a digital version of the Bible by using the YouVersion Bible App on your phone or tablet.
One of the biggest issues in life that requires lots of wisdom is how to navigate relationships and the CONFLICT that inevitably occurs.
This is especially true within the family.
Something I tell couples that are about to marry is they need to figure out within the first two years of their marriage how to do 4 things really well.
And if they don’t figure out these 4 things, they’re going to struggle.
Those 4 things are: 1) Finances; 2) A mutually satisfying sexual relationship; 3) Rules and roles because each person brings different rules and roles to the marriage; and 4) Conflict resolution.
You’ve got to learn how to resolve conflict.
Maybe on this Mother’s Day, your relationship with your mom is strained.
How do you resolve it?
And not just with mom, but in any relationship?
This is a BIG deal because if conflict isn’t resolved quickly and in a healthy way, things can get ugly.
Enemies of the heart like bitterness, rage, and ANGER begin to emerge.
But for many of us, we’d rather ignore the conflict and just sweep it under the rug and hope it somehow goes away.
But does that really work?
Say, “No!”
“No!”
No, usually what happens is, it gets worse, right?
Or, maybe what you do when there’s conflict is, you withdraw.
Instead of pursuing peace in the relationship, you pull back altogether.
In your mind, the hurt or offense is just too much to overcome, so you bail.
Marriages, unfortunately, can be like this.
Instead of working through the issues, many couples throw in the towel because the hurt and pain of unresolved conflict reaches a point where it becomes too much to bear.
Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg of America’s Family Coaches have written about conflict and the pattern of offense, hurt, and anger.
Offense, hurt, and anger is the beginning of a cycle of conflict that has two possible endings - one wise, the other foolish.
The foolish outcome happens when conflict goes unaddressed and unresolved.
And when that happens repeatedly, conflicts accumulate and pile up on each other.
Anger burns.
The relationship is strained.
Bitterness hardens the heart.
And two people grow more and more isolated from each other.
This happens in marriages, but can also happen in any relationship - like between parents and their kids.
Conflict can occur over a variety of things, but one issue is when parents have expectations and a vision for their child’s future and the child has a completely different vision.
Take a look at this clip.
Movie clip: Brave (1:18)
“Perfection.” [series image]
Wow, no pressure, huh?
Merida, the red-headed daughter, is to be the “perfect” princess.
The only problem is, she doesn’t want to be the perfect princess because part of being the perfect princess is submitting to an arranged marriage!
Can you imagine?
I know in some cultures, like in India, many people still opt for this.
In fact, there are statistics that suggest arranged marriages are more successful.
But for all of you singles today, how would that go over for you?
Probably not very well, huh?
In the movie, Merida is so upset that she gets a hold of a delicious morsel that will supposedly change her mother’s plan for her future; it’s supposed to change her mother’s mind about the impending arranged marriage.
But when she offers it to her mom and she takes a bite, she immediately turns ill and actually, quite literally, her mom turns into a bear!
So, you now have a red-headed daughter and an angry mama bear - what could go wrong, right? [Ha!]
But this is what happens when we take matters into our own hands - the problem actually gets worse!
And so, instead of relying on our own wisdom when it comes to handling conflict, we need to turn to the wisdom in God’s word.
What wisdom can we find in Proverbs to “Mend the Bond” in relationships; to resolve conflict and anger, especially within the family?
Well, I want to read some verses from Proverbs 17; this chapter is all about family and relationships.
Let’s start at verse 1: “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.”
You might not have the best food or the latest and greatest gadgets in your home and family, but if you have PEACE, man, that’s so much better than having pleasure and possessions with conflict.
Peace-filled and loving relationships eclipse everything!
But how much of our lives do we spend pursuing MORE - a higher income, a better house, nicer things - “a house full of feasting” in other words.
And how little of our lives do we spend investing in each other - resolving conflict, pursuing peace, and ruthlessly attacking division and discord?
Yes…
But the payoff is PEACE!
So, here’s a takeaway for wise living today: INVEST your resources in RELATIONSHIPS.
Whatever resources you have, invest them in relationships first and foremost; invest them in the people around you.
And that investment will net you priceless dividends - things like harmony, peace, and joy.
Skip down to verse 9 in Proverbs 17: “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
When someone commits an offense against us, we are to “foster love.”
And one of the ways we can do that, according to this proverb, is to keep quiet about it.
Talking like that destroys relationships.
It’s no accident that the last 2 verses in Proverbs 17 talk about the tongue:
Verses 27 & 28: “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they [what?] keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”
How often do we separate family and friends because we run our mouths?
Old Testament scholar, David Hubbard, wrote this: “Love that forgives keeps quiet about a transgression.”
In other words, there’s a certain kind of love that mends relationships and resolves conflict.
It’s a love that FORGIVES.
Remember the pattern of conflict I mentioned earlier - offense-hurt-anger? There are two possible endings - one wise, the other foolish.
The foolish outcome is the result of allowing conflict to go unresolved.
But the better way of wisdom chooses to address and resolve the conflict through forgiving love.
You see, ultimately we “foster love” through FORGIVENESS.
Another translation of Proverbs 17:9 says: “Love prospers when a fault is [what?] forgiven, but dwelling on it [and not resolving it] separates close friends.” (NLT)
Forgiveness can overcome the greatest offenses.
It’s choosing to give up our grudge, to let the other person off the hook in spite of the injustice done to us.
APPLICATION
Now, this is not easy.
Our tendency is to want to settle the score; to payback for wrongs done to us - “You OWE me!”
But you know what?
Forgiveness brings us closer to God than anything else we can do.
Jesus modeled it.
He was ridiculed, falsely accused, physically abused and crucified, yet he refused to retaliate.
What did he say?
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
He was like, “God, I’ve placed my life in your hands. Not my will, but yours be done.”
And if we’re followers of Jesus, we have to do the same thing.
We forgive and leave the outcome in God’s hands.
Now, in the ideal world, you have two-sided forgiveness - one person seeking or requesting forgiveness and another person granting it.
But this isn’t always the case.
Sometimes people never apologize or are unwilling to confess wrong.
And that hurts; that’s disappointing.
Because even though you can still forgive them and be free of resentment, there cannot be reconciliation.
True healing and the coming together of two people who have been in conflict will not happen unless BOTH parties want it and work for it.
Fortunately, Merida and her mom both wanted it and worked for it.
Take a look.
Movie clip: Brave (1:49)
And they lived happily ever after, right? [series image]
But notice what Merida did; she admitted, “I’ve been selfish. I’m sorry. I want you back mommy. I love you.”
In some ways, she models the biblical steps to requesting forgiveness and resolving conflict.
There’s...
And…
You see, at first, Merida thought she was being Brave by taking matters into her own hands, but she showed true bravery when she confessed her mistake to her mother, and said, “I’m sorry; I need you.”
In the end, we see that Forgiveness is a virtue of the BRAVE.
Forgiveness is what mends the bond of broken relationships.
In fact, it’s how Jesus mended the broken bond between us and God.
Through his death, burial, and resurrection, he has granted forgiveness and reconciliation to all who believe.
As the Bible says in Romans 5:1 - “...we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ...”
And it’s that same kind of forgiveness and peace that God desires in our relationships, especially with mom on Mother’s Day.
Let's pray. [blank slide]